What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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