'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
