Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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