she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
