operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
