maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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