Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I will be naked everywhere
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
