My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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