So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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