idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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