The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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