i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
