Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
