Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
