i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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