Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
