As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
