After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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