I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Even my vagina gasped.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
