I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
