I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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