i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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