Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
