just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
