He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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