Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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