I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
