try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
