Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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(+61): View more from Australia

yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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(616): View more from Michigan

Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life

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(573): View more from Missouri

I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER

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