belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
