bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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