I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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