do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i came on her dog
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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