Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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