Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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