we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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