My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
