Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
