Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
