maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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