she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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