Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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