Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
