Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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