Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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