I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
