His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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