There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
