Your dad touched me again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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