that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
